DWE #3

It is Day Without Elfrida number 3.  Like us, the house seems sad and unkempt without her cheerful company. 

We have eaten the last of the food she cooked for us.  The kitchen has stopped tidying itself.  Laundry I put in the washer no longer appears folded and stacked just outside my bedroom door.  Dishes I put in the dishwasher no longer restock the cupboards - I must put them back myself.  Things stay just where we put them down.  Surfaces seem slightly duller without her presence.   We are bereft.  

Yet somehow, we must carry on.  I have experienced this feeling before.  I reach back into my past to recall the circumstances.  Yes, I remember now.  It is called Bachelorhood! 

The insights come flooding back!  It means spending time doing things other than having fun, which seems pointless until you realize that it is necessary to acquire and keep a mate.  The enemy is called entropy, which means things get dirty and messy all by themselves unless you spend time cleaning and tidying them. 

Yes!  There are three basic strategies to minimize the impact on Fun time. 

1. Some entropy can be encountered by "tidying as you go" which means expending small increments of time and effort that you probably won't notice missing if you can get in the habit.  This is effective but requires that you learn to do it without thinking.  That takes time and something called "maturity".
2. Some entropy is best countered by letting it build up until it reaches a critical mass.  This is based on the insight that some things are just as much effort to clean when they are slightly dirty as when they are very dirty.  Think laundry.  But effective use of this strategy requires that you budget sufficient time to complete these tasks before the potential mate arrives.  
3. Concealment is often a useful tactic if you have failed to allow enough time to implement the above strategy.  Stash the dirty items out of sight, perhaps spraying the general area with Febreeze so that the dirtiness goes undetected.  (Remember, women usually have better senses of smell than men.)  My personal favourite has been to figure out which bathroom my mate is likely to use, and cleaning it only.  I even marked other one as "out of order" to make sure it wasn't inspected!  But concealment is a risky tactic - if you deception is detected, it might be game over.

Here is the real insight though: even though I am no longer a Bachelor (I am happily married, thank you!) I can still employ the same principles to enjoy the tidy lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.

Perhaps young Ian can learn a thing or two....